The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform bokeh an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for crot caterwauling) crot to the receptionist the next morning, memek bokeh she rolled her eyes and bokep declared the woman an ‘actrice’, crot or porn sex worker.

Now, bokep according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, porn it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and porn all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokep you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokep there’s sex as performance art, memek and memek sex as genuine intimacy. And crot when a woman is genuinely aroused, bokeh trusts her partner and bokeh is not fearing for bokep a fragile male ego, bokep she’s far more likely to gently sigh and porn moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, crot female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, porn they’d explain, porn so they could make their partner feel happy, bokep while conserving their energy for crot other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and bokep ‘manipulation’, bokep and porn that women were porn prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, crot so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokep the greater the bokeh chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, bokeh but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, porn ladies?

The only other crot reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokep where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland bokeh said in 2014 after bokeh neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: memek ‘As far as I’m concerned, memek that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, crot only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

crot In their book, memek Sex At Dawn, memek Christopher Ryan and memek Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate bokeh cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokep keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokep I can porn understand porn the need to advertise. But if you’re not, bokep then men should take heed: crot bokep the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris

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